


who was i before i met you?

by wafflesofdoom



Series: you put that magic in my bones [2]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Developing Relationship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 04:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10528647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafflesofdoom/pseuds/wafflesofdoom
Summary: aaron is just starting to learn to use his magic, and navigate his new relationship with robert, but when nightmares suddenly start keeping him up at night, he has to face his father once again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> a few warnings, in advance - gordon and what he did to aaron is referenced throughout a lot of this fic, though none of it is explicit. there is references to gordon also using mind control and his magical powers on aaron, though again, it's not explicit - just so you're aware.

“Aaron, could you just take a deep breath and try again?”

Aaron glared at him. “I _am_ trying,” he snarled, annoyed with his boyfriend. It had been nearly a month since he’d awakened his magic, and he was still struggling to get the basics right.

He’d decided not to tell anyone just yet, and his magic wasn't strong enough for anyone in the village to notice it was there. It made it easier, in terms of not having to deal with Chas and her very definitely going to happen meltdown about Aaron using his magic again, but it did make it harder to train.

People were really going to start wondering why they were sneaking off to the quarry every other night (though, Robert was feeding everyone excuses about wanting to wine and dine Aaron, so it was keeping their cover well enough.)

It did mean Aaron was dressed in a shirt and trousers combination as he stood on the grassy edge of the quarry, Robert barking orders at him.

“You’re not trying, you’re getting stuck inside your own head again.” Robert shook his head, standing up. “The thing with magic Aaron, is that you’ve got to just let it happen.”

“Very insightful Robert, thank you.”

Robert ignored his sarky comment, continuing with his lecture. “You’ve got all this raw, untrained power in your body, and you’ve got to stop being afraid of it, or you’re never going to get the hang of using it.”

“I’m not afraid of it!” Aaron protested, offended at the notion. He wasn’t afraid of his magic, not anymore, not since that night on the quarry.

“You are.”

“You’re a dick.”

“I might be, but that doesn’t mean I’m not right about this, Aaron.” Robert tugged Aaron close, his hands on Aaron’s waist. He could feel the electricity of Robert’s magic through the shirt he was wearing, still in awe of the raw power that Robert possessed, even now, months later.

He wanted that. He wanted to be able to be like Robert, to walk around as if he was the most powerful thing in the world.

For a few brief minutes, that night on the quarry edge, he’d felt what it would be like to have power like Robert’s, and Aaron was hooked. He wanted that, he wanted to feel that in control, that safe, all the time. 

“So what do I do?” Aaron relented, knowing Robert was only trying to help.

“Let it take over.” Robert said simply, stepping back to give Aaron some room. “You’ve spent your entire life fighting your magic, and making sure it knows that you’re the one in control. You need to let go, and let it take over, otherwise you’re going to spend the rest of your life flicking your magic on and off like a broken light.”

He hadn’t managed to get his magic to light up the way it had that night again, and Aaron missed the way the purple electricity of his magic had felt, the way his heart had raced when Robert had stepped closer, and all of a sudden their world had become a mess of purple and blue.

They didn’t really talk about that bit.

Aaron had googled it, out of curiosity, and the pages of results he’d found had scared him. Articles about magical power connecting, and what it meant for those who possessed the powers, well - it was more than what he was ready for.

It was more than what he was ready to have with Robert. 

Aaron shook the thoughts of the endless articles about magical soulmates from his head, concentrating on Robert’s words.

_Let go._

God, that was easier said than done. Aaron wasn’t good at letting go, and he wasn’t so sure about letting go and letting something else take over, but if it was how it was supposed to work, he’d have to trust Robert.

He did.

He did trust Robert, however mad the last few weeks of his life had become. He trusted Robert with his life, so he closed his eyes, and he tried to let go.

Unlearning years of forcing your magical power down was hard. It was harder than Aaron ever expected it to be - part of him had thought that if he just accepted his powers, they’d wake up by themselves, that they’d do the hard work for him.

But magic was a partnership, apparently.

Robert had sounded like such a schoolteacher when he’d said that. 

 

 

_“Magic is a partnership between you, and your powers, Aaron. They might be a part of you, but magic has a mind of it’s own sometimes. You’ve got to learn to work with your magic, as much as your magic has got to learn to work with you.” Robert said, sitting cross legged on Aaron’s bed. “It’s not as simple as flicking a switch. You’re learning to be a part of a new partnership, and it takes time, and effort.”_

_Aaron let out a frustrated sigh. “You sound like a schoolteacher,” he commented, picking at a lose thread on his pyjama bottoms. Robert’s room at the Woolpack was practically redundant at that point, the blonde staying in Aaron’s bed every single night of the week._

_Robert smirked. “And you sound like the annoying student I’d kick out of my class on a daily basis.”_

 

 

“You’re thinking too much.”

Aaron’s eyes flew open, and he glared at Robert again. “How would you know that, eh?” he snapped, hands on hips.

“Because you get this stupid look on your face when you think too hard.” Robert grinned. “Don’t think about anything except your magic. Just, focus on that, focus on being willing to let your magic take control.”

Aaron bit back the urge to roll his eyes, relaxing his shoulders and closing his eyes again.

He didn’t really know if closing his eyes helped, but it was worth a try. 

It felt like he was standing there for hours before anything happened, something powerful tugging at his stomach, as though there was an invisible thread from the outside world to his bellybutton.

Aaron didn’t say anything, waiting to see if anything else would happen.

The connection seemed to get stronger, the longer he stood, waiting patiently (or, as patiently as he could bring himself to be, standing like an absolute lemon on the edge of the quarry with his eyes closed.)

“Aaron.”

“What?”

“Look.”

Aaron looked down at his body, his heart racing as he took in the soft purple glow that had tinged his skin again. It felt different, this time, not so much a dramatic revelation, but rather something more permanent.

“Did it work?”

“Do you feel like it worked?” Robert asked, tilting his head slightly, clearly waiting for an answer. 

Aaron found himself nodding. “I think it did.”

“Try and lift that rock,” Robert jerked his head toward a medium sized stone that was lying to their left, something Aaron could easily lift himself if he just picked it up. 

It felt heavier, somehow, as he squinted at it, willing his magic to move it.

“Hand gestures do help.” Robert commented. “I know I make fun of them, but clicking your fingers or waving your hand concentrates your magic in one place. When you’re learning, it makes it easier.”

Aaron nodded again, throwing his hand out in a gesture not dissimilar to the one Robert would use when he was feeling particularly lazy, or hungover, the rare times he needed a helping hand when it came to his magic.

After a couple of seconds of straining, a delicious warmth seemed to spread through Aaron’s body, and the stone lifted into the air, wobbling and hovering about an inch from the ground, but still, in the air nonetheless.

“Try and move it.”

Aaron didn’t reply, his focus on the stone. His arm felt like it was aching as he moved it to the right, managing to get it about five or six inches from where it had originally been before he dropped it, letting out a frustrated groan.

“Hey, that was really good Aaron.” Robert reassured, stepping closer to him once again. “It was, I’m not just saying that. You’re improving every day, even if you don’t see it.”

“I can barely lift a bloody rock, and you managed to make my bed with me still in it this morning.” Aaron grumbled, stiff in Robert’s arms.

Robert pressed a kiss to the underside of Aaron’s jaw, smirking against his skin. “You were nice and cosy this morning,” he teased, thinking of the look of complete and utter confusion on Aaron’s face as he’d woken up to find Robert’s magic tucking his duvet in around him.

“S’not funny.”

“It’s going to get easier.” Robert reassured, jerking his head toward a picnic basket which had appeared out of nowhere. “Now, can we enjoy at least an hour of a date before we go home?”

Aaron softened, letting Robert direct him to the picnic blanket, watching as two bottles of beer uncapped themselves, clinking against each other in cheers before they floated themselves into their hands. 

It was amazing, how Robert’s magic made even the simplest things more exciting. 

“Thank you.” Aaron said quietly, grinning as Robert produced a pizza box, the name of his favourite takeaway in Hotten branded across the front. “For helping me, I mean. I know I’m not the best student.”

Robert shrugged off his thanks, tucking into a slice of pizza. “I want to help you,” he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I like you, remember?”

“I remember.” Aaron laughed. “I do appreciate it though.”

“I know. You were _very_ grateful this morning in the shower, I haven’t forgotten.” Robert smirked at the memory, the wicked expression suiting the freckled skin of his face.

He was gorgeous. Robert was always gorgeous, but even more so now, the fading light of the day illuminating their picnic, his blonde hair slightly askew from the wind that had picked up an hour or so previously.

He was gorgeous, and Aaron had gotten to wake up next to him every single morning of the past month. He didn’t know how he’d gotten so lucky, really. 

“What are you thinking about?” Robert nudged, giving Aaron an expectant look.

“I’m happy.” Aaron said, wondering if now was the right time to say it. “I’m happy, and it scares me, because I know a lot of it is down to you. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before.”

“Neither have I.”

“Really?”

Robert nodded. “Really,” he confirmed. “I’ve loved people before, I have - but the connection I have with you feels like the most real thing I’ve ever had in my life. I can be myself around you, you know? I’ve felt able to trust you with things I’ve never trusted anyone with before.”

“I trust you too.” Aaron replied, leaning across the blanket to kiss Robert softly. It didn’t take much for the embrace to deepen, Aaron discarding his beer so he could shift his position, straddling Robert’s hips.

“What about the pizza?” Robert said, most joking, his fingers already deftly unbuckling Aaron’s belt, his hands warm against the now exposed skin of Aaron’s lower abdomen.

Aaron grinned, rolling his hips into Robert’s growing erection. “I can think of better ways to put your magic to use, if I’m honest.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Why are you so adamant you’re going to learn how to do the tea thing?” Robert inquired, munching on a piece of toast as he watched Aaron glare at the kettle, two cups wobbling precariously in front of the kettle. 

“Because I drink a lot of tea, and it’d save a lot of time.” Aaron replied, not bothering to turn around and look at Robert. He was determined he was going to use his magic to make a cup of tea that morning.

Ever since the previous night out at the quarry, his magic had been getting stronger. It didn’t feel like there was something new in his body anymore, it felt like something that was supposed to have been there all along, was finally back where it belonged.

Aaron gave a triumphant grin as the kettle came to life, two spoons dipping into the sugar bowl. It was a little wobbly, but it was working, and thats all that counted. 

“You’ve caused more mess than you would have if you’d just made it normally.” Robert pointed out as Aaron turned around, sliding his arms around Robert’s middle.

Aaron rolled his eyes. “For someone who’s supposed to be supporting me on this whole magical journey thing, you’re being a prick about it.”

Robert laughed, pressing a crumb covered kiss to Aaron’s lips. “You know I’m your biggest supporter,” he said, his hand flickering toward the fridge.

“I saw that.”

“You forgot the milk,” Robert pointed out. “Still though, you nearly got it.”

“Nearly.” Aaron grimaced. “I hate the word nearly now, and it’s because of you.”

“You’ll get there.” Robert reassured, his voice soft, and caring. It was a side of Robert Aaron was still getting used to, if he was honest - the side without the snark and the harsh words.

Aaron shrugged, pressing himself close to Robert’s body, not saying a word.

“You should tell your mum, you know.” 

“Why? She’s only going to lose the plot,” Aaron grumbled, not wanting to think of his mum’s reaction.

“You know you’re not going to be able to hide it forever.” Robert said quietly. “Your magic is tied to your emotions, Aaron. Sooner or later, something is going to happen and it’s going to set you off, and she’ll know.”

Aaron sighed, taking one of the now made cups of tea before it spilled over. He looked at Robert, his boyfriend (was Robert his boyfriend?), the sincere look in Robert’s eyes making him feel comfortable enough to talk. “She saw, what I went through with Gordon, how hard I fought my magic.”

Robert didn't say anything, he just nodded, clearly waiting for Aaron to continue.

“She’ll think I’m making a mistake.” Aaron said bluntly, knowing how Chas would react. “She’s a Dingle, my lot doesn’t like magic, not really. They saw what it did to Belle, they know how easy it is for a person with magic to be manipulative - they know it was how Gordon stopped me from talking for a long time.”

Robert’s brow furrowed. “Did he use his magic against you?”

Aaron’s stomach twisted at the memories. “Course he did,” he mumbled, not wanting to relive all the sordid details. “Made it easier to stop me fighting back, didn’t it?”

Robert paled, setting his cup of tea down on the counter. “I’m sorry, Aaron. God, I am so sorry.”

“S’not your fault, is it? Anyway, you've made me see that there’s more to it than what I went through because of him.” Aaron said, brushing his fingers against Robert’s wrist, revelling in the little blast of purple energy that appeared at the contact. “You make me feel good about it. Your magic makes me feel good.”

“You know I’d never use it against you -“

“Robert, I know. I know you, I know you’re not that type of person.” Aaron interrupted. “Don’t make all this about him, please. You make me feel normal, I don’t want that to change.”

“Sorry.” Robert’s voice was quiet again. “I just worry, I s’pose.”

“Why?”

Aaron knew the effect a simple question would have on Robert. For whatever reason, they couldn’t really lie to each other, couldn’t do anything except be honest with each other.

(Who was he kidding? He **knew** the reason.)

“Because I’ve got a certain reputation around here, don’t I?” Robert explained, shifting uncomfortably. He found it hard to talk about his past, admit what had gone on when he was growing up in Emmerdale. “I don’t want people to think I’m using you, or manipulating you.”

“I’ll make sure no one thinks that.” Aaron reassured, pressing a chaste kiss to Robert’s lips. “Same star, remember?"

“Soppy git.” Robert said affectionately. “Do talk to your mum though, she deserves to hear it from you, not because someone else in the village notices you’ve let your powers wake up.”

“Alright, yoda.” Aaron rolled his eyes, draining his cup of tea. “Call into the garage if you’re around this afternoon, we can grab lunch.”

Robert nodded, holding his mug close to his chest, in no rush to be anywhere. “See you later,”

Aaron hated how happy a simple sentence made him, a warm feeling spreading throughout his body at Robert’s promise of later.

He was in so deep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“How would you feel about a night away from here?” Robert asked, curled tightly around Aaron’s body. It was late at night and the pub was silent, the last of the customers long since gone, everyone in bed.

Aaron paused in his ministrations, his fingers curled in the sweaty hair at the back of Robert’s neck. “Like a holiday, or summat?” he asked, curious now.

Robert nodded, shifting his position slightly so he was propping himself up more, his chin on Aaron’s chest. “It’d be good for us, I think - to get away from here for a night. There’s a nice hotel, about an hour from here - we could go this weekend, get away from it all, just spend some time together.”

Aaron couldn’t help the wide smile that appeared on his face, the rush of warmth at the prospect of a whole night away, just him and Robert. “I’d like that, actually,” he admitted, his fingers continuing on their journey down Robert’s spine, making the older man shiver under his touch.

“Good,” Robert grinned, pressing a sloppy kiss to the corner of Aaron’s mouth, his breath warm against Aaron’s skin. “Because I’ve already booked it.”

“Bit presumptuous of you, isn’t it?” Aaron teased, his other hand resting on the curve of Robert’s hip, his thumb pressing into the soft skin there. It was one of Robert’s weak spots, he’d discovered, one of those places on his body that made him weak at the knees and gorgeously pliant under his hands.

That, and the sensitive skin behind his knee - Robert always acting as though he’d just been shocked whenever Aaron brushed his fingers there, panting and writhing uncontrollably.

Learning all the little things about Robert that made him come undone was fun. Aaron wasn't sure he’d had this level of physicality with anyone before, not really. His sex life with Ed had been great, sure, but this -

Well, it was something else, Aaron thought, his heart speeding up as Robert’s fingers traced soft circles on his collarbone, the touch featherlight. He could feel the pulsing energy beneath Robert’s fingertips, the constant thrum of electricity that seemed to radiate from the blond mans skin.

It felt good.

Even without the magic, without all the fantasies about stars and soulmates, it would feel good.

“I knew you’d agree,” Robert murmured, his focus on Aaron’s jawline now, grazing his teeth along the skin there. “A whole night away with me, what’s not to love?”

“You’re such a pain in the arse, you know that?” Aaron rolled his eyes, his breath hitching as Robert’s mouth moved to neck, nuzzling into the sliver of space between there and his shoulder.

He clearly wasn’t looking to get another round out of him, Aaron decided, as Robert’s breathing evened out, his chest rising and falling in time with Aaron’s own, as if they were one and the same.

“You like it.” Robert said softly, his words muffled. 

Aaron tightened his grip on Robert, half pulling the other man on top of him a bit more, trying to get comfortable. If Robert planned to sleep like that, well, Aaron wasn’t going to complain.

He was warm, it felt nice.

“Yeah,” Aaron murmured, letting his own eyes close. “I do.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Where are you off to, looking so nice?” Chas asked, curled up on the couch, a glass of wine in hand.

Aaron looked down at the blue suit he'd worn (at Robert’s insistence), feeling a bit overdressed for the backroom of the pub. “I’m going away for the night, with Robert,” he explained, waiting for her to kick off.

Chas simply sighed, not looking overly excited. “I don’t like how serious you two seem to be getting, love.”

Aaron sat down on the edge of the coffee table, trying to figure out how he’d reassure his mum that everything was going to be fine, that he and Robert were going to be fine. “I’m happy, mum.”

“I know, and that’s all I want for you, it really is - but does it have to be with him?”  


“He’s a different person to the Robert you remember.” Aaron pointed out. “He makes me feel good, mum. Doesn’t that matter?”

Chas reached out for his hand, squeezing it tightly. “It does. That’s all that matters, love.”

“Then be happy for me, please.” Aaron pleaded, wanting his mum to understand, to be supportive - the way she had been with Ed, the way she’d been so happy to have him be a part of his life. “He makes me feel _normal_.”

“Then I’ll try to be better, I will.”

“Thank you.” Aaron wasn’t sure if he should say what he wanted to say, but he did it anyway. “His mum had just died, when you knew him. His magic’s all tied up in his emotions, of course he was going to lose it a bit.”

“You can’t blame it all on his magic.”

“No,” Aaron agreed. “But he was a teenager who’d just lost him mum. I would be the same, if I lost you.

Chas’ face softened at Aaron’s words, clearly more in tune with Robert and his history now. “That had to be hard for him.”

“It was, and it still is, mum - even more so, being back here, in Emmerdale.” Aaron said. “I don’t understand how it feels to lose a parent like he has, and Robert’s lost both of them. Cut him a bit of slack, will you?”

Chas smiled, a proper smile, this time. “Go on, enjoy your night away.”

“Thanks mum!” Aaron grinned, standing up. 

“You are looking a lot brighter these days, you know.” Chas commented, just before he left the room.

Aaron looked down at his hands, the bright glow to his skin familiar to him now. Sometimes it glowed entirely purple, when he was relaxed and not trying to keep it under control - most of the time, it was just a bright tinge to his skin, a physical manifestation of the magic that bubbled under his skin.

He’d have to tell her soon, about the magic, he knew that. He didn’t exactly want to prove Robert right, he was self righteous enough as it was. 

“I’m just happy,” he shrugged, picking up his holdall. “That’s all.”

Chas smiled. “Enjoy, love.”

Aaron nodded, heading out the door toward Robert’s car, the engine already humming. Robert was behind the wheel, dressed in that bloody maroon suit that sent every drop of blood in his body rushing southwards, his suit jacket hanging up in the back window.

Pausing to toss his holdall in the backseat, Aaron hung his jacket up beside Robert’s before he got into the passenger seat, sinking into the soft leather of Robert’s Porsche. 

“I thought you were going to bail on me,” Robert teased, glancing over at Aaron. He had a pair of sunglasses on, the expensive frames sitting on the bridge of his nose and making him look like a supermodel.

“Nah, I looked this place up and they’ve got their own on-site brewery.” Aaron smirked, cranking up the radio, a familiar pop song blasting through the speakers as Robert pulled out of the Woolpack carpark, and out onto the road.

“Aaron, if you think you’re leaving this hotel room at any point this weekend, you’ve got another thing coming.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The hotel was insane. Aaron wasn’t usually one for the finer things in life, he was happy with a pint and a nice sofa, but he couldn’t help but enjoy the hotel Robert had booked for them.

“If you’re not working,” Aaron inquired, finishing the last of his dessert, the indulgent chocolate cake sitting heavily in his stomach. “How do you afford all this?”

Robert laughed, drinking the last of his glass of wine. “I got a decent settlement, when Chrissie and I divorced. She wanted me out of the family business, and I didn’t exactly go without a fight,”

“Things weren’t great in the end then?” Aaron asked, genuinely curious.

Robert gave a noncommittal shrug. “It wasn’t great to start with, if I’m honest. Like, I loved her - I really did, but it wasn’t enough for it to last forever. The whole magical incompatibility thing didn’t help, either.”

“How does that even work?” 

“You know how I accidentally electrocuted you a few times?” Robert asked, waiting for Aaron to nod. “With Chrissie, it was worse. My magic couldn’t stand her, and hers couldn’t stand me - she blew out a kitchen window, once, when we were arguing. In the end we were ruining our lives and her fathers house, it was a disaster.”

“That doesn’t happen with me and you though.” Aaron said, thinking back to those first few times they’d been together. “Not even by accident.”

Robert flushed slightly, his focus on the tablecloth for a second. “You know why, though.”

Aaron gave a nervous laugh. “Yeah.”

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Robert offered, sensing Aaron’s own fears.

“I’d prefer if we didn’t.” Aaron said honestly. It was weird, to think someone you’d only known for a few months was your soulmate, and it was _big_ , too big for him to get his head around, there and then.

Robert glanced out the window, at the fading sunlight. “Let’s go for a walk,” he said, pushing back his chair, straightening his suit jacket. He’d kept it on, all through dinner, Aaron having discarded his hours previously, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his tie pulled loose.

“Are we going for a romantic stroll then?” Aaron asked, teasingly.

Robert snorted, a hand on the small of Aaron’s back as he gave their room number to the waiter, telling him to put the cost of the meal on the bill. “I am an old romantic,” he joked as they walked down the opulent hallways of the house hotel, the dark wood and endless mirrors, practically glittering in the late evening sun, every inch furniture adorned with bright bouquets of flowers. 

It was warm, Aaron noticed, as they stepped into the gardens, his suit jacket in hand. “This place is gorgeous,” he commented as they began to stroll down the patio, the gardens dotted with other couples sitting out and enjoying the early summer weather. “It must be costing you a fortune.”

“Money doesn’t matter.”

“That’s what people who have it say.”

“No,” Robert paused, turning to face Aaron properly. “I just meant that it doesn’t matter how much money I’m spending, if it means I get to spend a weekend with you and that gorgeous smile of yours.”

Aaron ducked his head, a deep crimson blush rising in his cheeks. “Yeah, alright.”  


“I mean it.” Robert said, nudging Aaron’s hand with his own, making to intertwine their fingers together, his palm warm against Aaron’s own. “I like spending time with you. Just, you.”

“Soft lad.” Aaron said affectionately, leaning in to press a kiss to Robert’s ever-willing lips. “Should’ve brought your sunglasses, it’s so nice out.”

Robert raised an eyebrow, producing his sunglasses from thin air. “You want them?” he inquired. 

“I haven’t got the face for ‘em.” 

“Of course you do!” Robert rolled his eyes, untangling himself from Aaron so he could put the sunglasses on him, the cool metal frames cold against Aaron’s face. “See? Gorgeous.”

Aaron rolled his eyes, the gesture lost behind the dark lenses of his borrowed sunglasses. “You’re just trying to turn me into a posh twat,” he joked, letting Robert take his hand again, the two of them continuing on their walk.

“Nah,” Robert smirked, having produced yet another pair of sunglasses from thin air, a sleek looking black pair that were shockingly dark against his pale skin. “You’ll always be a dirty little greasemonkey, you.”

“Oi!” Aaron feigned offence.

Robert gave his hand a squeeze, smirking. “Good thing I like it."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aaron woke, soaked in sweat from a nightmare, his brain feeling as though it had been taken out and shaken inside out. He was having the best nights sleep he’d had in a long time, curled up against Robert in the ridiculously oversized bed in their hotel room - until he hadn’t been, wide awake and shaking.

He couldn’t remember what it had been about, but as he pressed a palm to his chest, he could feel his own heart racing.

It must have been bad, right? Maybe not, if he couldn’t remember it. 

Maybe it was just a weird dream, brought on by too much alcohol and sugar, Aaron having finished his own dessert and half of Robert’s at dinner earlier. 

Shaking his head, Aaron gestured at the mini-bar with a tired hand, an ice cold bottle of water floating toward him unsteadily. He was getting there, but tiredness made it worse.

Uncapping it, Aaron downed half the bottle of water in one go, feeling slightly better as he set the bottle down on his nightstand.

It was fine, it had just been a weird dream. Looking to his right, he couldn’t help but smile as he looked at Robert, snoring softly and passed out completely, his face buried in the pillow.

Aaron settled down underneath the covers again, throwing an arm across Robert’s stomach. Being near Robert always made him feel better, whatever weird place his head was in.

It was just a dream.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Diane wants us to have a family meal,” Robert said with a sigh, passing Aaron a coffee from Bob’s.

Aaron accepted with a grateful smile, taking a swig of the hot liquid. He hadn’t had the best few nights sleep, waking up at all sorts of odd hours, wide awake and sweating.

He was feeling the effects of it now, nearly a week after their hotel getaway. 

“Sounds like fun.” 

“Would you come?” Robert asked, leaning against the car Aaron had been working on, an absolute banger of an old thing that was being held together entirely by rust at this point.

“Why?”

“Because you’re my boyfriend and I want you there.” Robert said, as if it were obvious.

“And?”

“And I’ll be less likely to attempt to murder Katie in the middle of dinner if I’ve got you there, won’t I?” 

Aaron snorted, taking another generous swallow of his coffee. Latte, three sugars - he wasn’t quite sure when Robert had figured out the exact why he drank his coffee, and his tea, but he had. “You’ll kick off even if I am there,” he said. 

“You’d be surprised.” Robert said. “You keep me calmer than you realise.”

Aaron relented slightly. “When is it?” he asked, wondering when he’d have to suffer through the painful experience of a Sugden family meal.

“Tonight?”

“Robert!”

“I’m sorry, I only found out about it today, you know I’ve been up in Leeds at meetings all week,” Robert said apologetically, giving Aaron a pleading look. “Diane just cornered me to ask.”

Aaron sighed, knowing Robert wasn’t making it up. He’d been looking for investment opportunities, bored of mooching around and not doing much of anything for the past few months. 

“Please? I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“Fine.”

Robert beamed, pulling Aaron in for a kiss. “You’re the best, thank you.”

“Yeah, alright, I’m going to cover ya in oil if you’re not careful.” Aaron pretended to grumble, draining the last of his coffee, catching a look of concern on Robert’s face. “What?”

“You necked that back.” Robert gestured at the empty cup, his brow furrowed. “And you’ve been looking tired, the past few days. I can feel it, you’re exhausted Aaron. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah…..” Aaron trailed off, knowing he could trust Robert. “I’ve been having weird dreams.”

“What sort of dreams?”  


“I don’t know, thats the problem. I just keep waking up at night as if I’ve had a nightmare, but I can’t remember what it was.” Aaron admitted, rocking slightly on his heels as he tried to explain. “All I know is that I keep waking up scared.”

“That’s strange.” Robert looked confused, clearly trying to think. “It might be magic related.”

“Do you think?”

“Yeah, I mean…” Robert paused, setting his coffee cup down. “You don’t have many good memories, when it comes to magic, because of _him_. It might be messing with your head, a little.”

“Will it last?” 

“I don’t think so, I imagine it’s just something you’ve got to get your head past.” Robert said, a gentle hand on Aaron’s arm now. “I wouldn’t be worried, unless it gets worse.”

Aaron gave him a grateful smile. “Thanks.”

“Just, talk to me about it, yeah?” 

Aaron nodded. “Go on, get out of my face. I’ll try finish up work early, we can have a pint before we face your lot.”  


Robert kissed him again, his breath tasting of coffee and toothpaste. “I’ll see you tonight.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Why is Aaron here? This is a family meal, Robert.” 

Aaron rolled his eyes as Katie got the ball rolling on the first of an infinite amount of snarky comments she was sure to make that night. He took a swig of his pint, letting Robert do the talking.

“He’s my boyfriend and I want him here.” Robert said simply, leaning back in the booth. They were in the pub, having already ordered their food from Marlon.

“Katie, love - let them be.” Diane said tiredly, Victoria’s expression echoing her own. “Aaron is a friend, and more than that, if he’s important to Robert, he should be here.”

“Thank you Diane.” Robert smiled at his step-mother, one of his hands resting on Aaron’s knee. His touch was always warmer than Aaron was used to, the constant thrum of power in Robert’s fingertips a comfort. 

He covered Robert’s hand with his own, feeling that familiar spark as their skin came into contact. It was as though his magic was happy to be near Robert’s, as happy as he was to be near Robert, these days.

Aaron knew Robert felt the same, his boyfriend giving him a soft, sly smile as they listened to Victoria talk excitedly about a cookery course she’d been offered a place on, Robert only butting in to order to pay the fees.   
  
“I’m dead proud of you, Vic.” Robert said, a bright grin on his face. “Will you let me pay for it?”

Katie snorted. “Throwing your money around, as usual.” 

“Maybe he’s just looking out for his little sister.” Aaron said, disinterest clear in his voice. “Wants the best for her, and all that.”

“Oh, is that what you think? Robert Sugden, wanting the best for anyone? Hell would freeze over, first.” Katie sniped, ignoring the warning look she got from Andy.

“Katie, I’d watch yourself I was you.” there was a new edge to Robert’s voice, a powerful tone to his normally calm composure. This was head of the family Robert, the powerful magical being in charge of Emmerdale’s most powerful family.

Under any other circumstances, Aaron would probably have jumped him. There was something about Robert turning on his authoritative voice that made his insides melt.

Before he could think any more about it, he felt a splitting pain in his head, as though someone was taking a hammer to his brain. “Ah, _fuck,”_ he groaned, slamming his pint glass down on the kitchen table.

“Aaron?” Robert’s voice sounded far away. “Aaron, are you alright?” 

“Hurts.” Aaron mumbled, grabbing at Robert’s knee. The pain was white hot now, as if someone was shoving a hand into his skull, messing his brain around. “Robert, make it stop, _please_.”

Under any other circumstances, he’d be embarrassed about anyone seeing him like this, but he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, it just **hurt**. 

“Hey, it’s alright, it’s okay.” Robert’s hands were on his face, and he could feel the familiar thrum of Robert’s magic pouring into his head, lighting up his skin with electricity, and all of a sudden, the pain was gone.

Aaron’s breath was coming in heaves, his chest on fire as he tried to scramble from the booth, Robert blocking his way. “Robert, Rob - I need to, I need air.”

“Hey, it’s alright.” Robert stood up, helping a shaking Aaron to his feet, directing him toward the main doors of the pub. It was quiet, and Aaron had never been more grateful for the lack of people around to witness his meltdown.

As soon as they were outside, Aaron gulped in breaths of fresh air, trying to get his breathing back under control, sliding down the wall so he was sitting down on the gravelly floor.  


“Let me help.” Robert offered him a hand.

“Magic’s n-not going to help.” Aaron huffed, recognising he was now in the midst of a panic attack, his vision blurring as he desperately tried to breathe properly. 

“I’m not offering you any magic.” Robert crouched down in front of him, giving him a reassuring look. “Breathe in and out, okay? I’ll count. In, and out.”

Aaron tried to focus on Robert’s voice, struggling to get his breathing under control. After a few minutes, he felt the worst of the panic subside, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. “‘M sorry.”

“For what? Aaron, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Robert shook his head, hesitantly putting a hand on Aaron’s knee, that familiar thrum of his magic making Aaron’s heart rate slow down.

“I don’t know what that was.”

“I don’t either.” Robert admitted. “Do you think its to do with the nightmares?”

Aaron nodded slowly. “Maybe.”

“Aaron, you need to go and see someone about this.” Robert said quietly. “There’s a magical doctor, in Hotten.”

Aaron didn’t want to see a doctor, he didn’t want to have to face whatever this was. “Okay,” he relented. 

“I’ll make an appointment tomorrow, yeah?” 

Aaron nodded again, grasping Robert’s hand with his own. 

“It’s going to be okay.” Robert gathered him into a hug, the two of them sitting on the gravel driveway of the Woolpack. “I’m going to fix this, I promise. It’s going to be okay.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_“Aaron.”_

_“Aaron, I know you can hear me.”_

_“Aaron, don’t you dare ignore me. I’m your father.”_

_“Aaron Livsey, I’m talking to you.”_

“No, no - go away.”

“ _Aaron, I’m not going anywhere.”_

_“_ No! No, I don’t want you here, get out of my head.” 

_“You brought this on yourself, it’s your magic that connects us. The magic I gave you.”_

“NO!” Aaron screamed, bolting upright in his best, sobbing his heart out. He could hear him, he could feel him, he was in his head. “No, go away, go away!”

Robert jolted awake, staring at him wide eyed for a second before he realised something was wrong. “Aaron, you okay?”

“He’s in my head, he’s in my head.” Aaron knotted his hands in his head, tearing at his scalp. 

“Aaron, who’s in your head, what’s going on?”

_“Aaron, I’m not going anywhere.”_

“Gordon.” Aaron sobbed, scratching at his arms, desperate for the voice to go away. “Gordon, he’s in my head, Robert, I can hear him, make it stop, please - make it stop.”

Robert scrambled to his knees, pulling Aaron’s hands away from his arms. “You’re hurting yourself,”

“Just m-make it stop.”

“I will, I promise, I will.” Robert ran his hands through Aaron’s hair, blue magic surrounding Aaron’s face, blocking out the sound of Gordon’s voice, leaving his head blissfully silent.

Aaron collapsed into Robert’s arms, sobbing his heart out, clinging to his boyfriend’s arms. “I remember all the n-nightmares, he’s been trying to talk to me,” he cried, memories flooding back now Gordon had managed to get in his head. 

He could see Gordon in prison, that familiar smirk on his face as he tried to speak to Aaron, tried to take control of his head again.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Robert soothed, rocking Aaron in his arms. “It’s okay, he’s gone, I’ve stopped it, I promise.”

Aaron couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but break down in Robert’s arms, feeling physically ill. 

**This** was why he didn’t want use his magic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aaron felt drained, as he walked down the last few steps of the stairs. Whatever Robert had done to get Gordon out of his head, he’d ended up having a completely dreamless sleep, the first in for what felt like forever.

He paused, his hand on the door handle, hearing his mum and Robert shouting at each other. 

“Why would you let him use his magic? Did you make him do it?”

“Do you really think Aaron would be manipulated that easily?” Robert replied, anger clear in his voice. “He wanted to use his magic. This is your fault!”

“How is it my fault?”

“You should have made sure they put a block on Gordon’s magic, when he was sent down. It’s standard bloody procedure, of course Gordon was going to try and get inside his head. He’s an _abuser_.” 

“Don’t you dare make this my fault, Robert. You’ve known him what, a few weeks? He is my _son_.” Chas argued, her tone venomous. “His magic was dormant so there was no need to put him through that hell.”

“How could you be stupid enough to think he’d let his magic be dormant forever? It can’t be done! One day, he was going to end up using it, and Gordon would jump at the chance to get inside his head.”

Aaron was sick of them talking as though he wasn’t the one suffering. He shoved at the door, a growl on his face as he stepped inside the room. “I’m not a child, don’t talk about me as if I am.”

“Aaron, love, why didn’t you tell me he’d done this to you, eh? You shouldn’t have left him do this to you, you were fine without your magic.” Chas fussed, crossing the room quickly.

“But I wasn’t, was I? It always felt like there was something missing from my life, and I hated it.” Aaron couldn’t hold back his temper now, his magic bubbling angrily under his skin, purple oozing from his pores. 

“Aaron -“ 

“No, mum. I’m not a child, and you don’t get to tell me what to do. If I want to use my magic, I can.” Aaron interrupted. “What’s this about a magical block?” he directed at Robert, wanting to know.

“It’s a common enough thing to do, especially in cases where someone has been abused.” Robert said. “It’s magical law, actually - if a magical person has been abused and their abuser is also in possession of magic power, the state has to implement a magical block to prevent any mind control,” he recited, as though he was quoting a law. 

“Why wasn’t it done to me, after the trial?” Aaron demanded of his mum.

“You were practically catatonic, after the trial, Aaron. I couldn’t put you through it,” Chas said, her voice pleading. “They said you’d made your magic so dormant yourself, that we wouldn’t need to worry.”

“Well, they were wrong, weren’t they?” Aaron snapped. His head felt fuzzy, he could still feel Robert’s magic surrounding him, keeping him safe. “Can this last, Robert?”

Robert shook his head. “No. I can try and keep him out of your head, but the stronger your magic gets, the easier it’s going to be for him to get to you. They need to sever the bond between you.”

“Bond?”

“Magic has a familial bond,” Robert admitted. “It’s why Andy and Victoria listen to me. Their magic recognises me as head of the family, the same way your magic recognises Gordon as the head of yours.”

Aaron felt sick to his stomach. “So everything you told me, about the stars, it’s just a children's story then?” he spat, the story Robert had told him a few weeks previously no longer sounding hopeful, or magical.

It all felt like _lies_.

“It’s true.” Robert said quietly. “But I can’t pretend like theres not a familial bond to magic, Aaron. I just didn’t realise they hadn’t severed the connection between you and **him**.”

“I hate you.” Aaron growled at him. “I hate you for making me want this. I was fine, until you came along.”

Robert’s face fell, hurt apparent on his face. He reached out, pleading with him. “Aaron, please.”

Aaron shrugged off his hand. “Leave me alone, Robert.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aaron had been alone for hours, by time Robert had found him. He'd managed to drive himself up to the quarry, his head a mess and his heart racing. He could still feel Robert’s magic in his veins, and he hated how comforting and familiar it still felt.

“Aaron?”

“I don’t want to talk.”

“We need to, though.” Robert said, sitting down next to him on the grassy edge of the quarry. 

“Go on then.” Aaron sighed, wondering what Robert had to say.

“Nothing I told you was a lie. I _completely_ believe in that fairytale, I do,” Robert said, gazing at the starry night sky. “But the same way you get your DNA from your parents, you get some of your magic, too. There’s no denying that - but after what you went through with Gordon, I really thought that they’d have severed your bond.”

“I know it’s not your fault.” Aaron said quietly. “I do, I know that - but I felt so good, being with you, and then all of a sudden he was back in my head, and I’m remembering everything, and it’s making me feel ill, it’s making me feel like that scared little boy again.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that.” Aaron didn’t mean to sound so harsh, hating the way Robert flinched at his words. “He abused me, Robert. Reliving that all over again, it’s like hell for me.”

Robert stayed quiet.

“I don’t want to stop using my magic,” Aaron said. “I want to use it. It makes me feel good, you make me feel good. I don’t want to lose that,” he admitted.

“You don’t need magic for what we have between us to feel good.”

“I know.” Aaron nodded, reaching out to Robert for the first time, tentatively putting his hand on Robert’s wrist. “But I like it, it makes me feel whole again. You know? For a really long time, something was missing for me, and now I’ve got it back. I can’t lose it.”

Robert squeezed his hand gently. “You shouldn’t have to give up a part of you because of something he did,”

“I’ve lost a lot of me because of what he did.” 

Robert looked at him sadly. “You haven’t.”

“I have.” Aaron said. “You mightn’t think so, but I’ll never be perfectly okay again, because of what he did. He broke me.”

“You’re not broken.”

“I am,” Aaron said, looking at Robert properly. The moonlight looked good on him, highlighting every freckle on his pale face, the birthmark on the underside of his jaw. “I am. It’s okay though, I don’t mind so much, not anymore. You make me feel normal, for the first time in a really long time.”

“You make me feel normal too.” 

“What?”

Robert gave a slight shrug. “My whole life, I’ve ben an outsider. Whether it was because my dad couldn’t handle who I was, or because I couldn’t handle my magic. Dad hated me, because I was bisexual, because I didn’t want the life he wanted for me. Chrissie couldn’t stand me in the end, because she couldn’t get on with my magic, because I wasn’t another puzzle piece in her picture perfect life.”

Robert sounded hurt, completely sad and defeated, biting back a bitter laugh. “These past few months, with you, for the first time in my life, I feel like I’m exactly where I should be.” 

“You should be here, with me.” Aaron blurted. “I want you here with me. I know - I know we don’t talk about it, but you mean a lot to me, Robert, you mean more to me than anyone else ever has. I don’t know what to do with that, sometimes.”

Robert let out a shaky breath. “I know what you mean,” he said quietly. “It’s scary, isn’t it? Being with you feels so right, so normal, I can’t imagine not having it.”

“Thank you.” Aaron said after a few minutes silence, knocking his knee against Robert’s. “For getting him out of my head, for being there. Means a lot.”

“I’m always here, I promise. We’ll get this bond severed, and we can move on with our lives,” Robert said. “I’m going to fix this.”

Aaron didn’t feel practically up to a snog, if he was honest, and he knew Robert wouldn’t push it. Instead, he settled for a quick squeeze of Robert’s hand and a grateful smile, the two of them sitting in a comfortable silence, watching the stars. 

Everything wasn’t okay.

But maybe it would be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aaron felt like he was going to get sick, standing with Robert outside Manchester’s only high security prison for magical people. It was a fortress, the outside of the building glittering with a powerful magic he’d never seen the likes of before. 

“You okay?” 

Aaron looked up at Robert’s question, his boyfriend standing close to him. Aaron could feel Robert’s desperate need to protect him, his magic trying to form a protective cocoon around Aaron.

Pressing a chaste kiss to Robert’s lips, he tried reassure him (and his magic) that everything would be okay.

“I’ve got you, haven’t I?” Aaron said quietly. “I’ll be okay.”

“But you have to see him.”

“I know, and it’s going to be hell, but I’ve got you,” Aaron repeated, linking his fingers with Robert’s, bracing himself for the walk inside the prison. They’d gotten in contact with solicitors and the courts, and managed to get an appointment to have the magical bond between Aaron and Gordon severed less than a week after the incident, as they’d jokingly referred to it as.

In a matter of an hour or so, Aaron would have that monster out of his head and his life forever. 

They were let into the prison by a gruff looking security guard, meeting the solicitor Robert had gotten for him inside.

“Aaron,” Katherine greeted, a folder in hand. “They’ve got everything set up, it’ll be done as quickly as possible, I’ve been assured.”

“As long as it’s done.” Aaron tried to say bravely. 

“This way,” Katherine tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, directing them through another few rounds of security, the guards doing a dozen or so magical checks before they deemed it safe for them to continue. 

“Gordon has been completely restrained, but because of the nature of what needs to be done to sever your bond, his magic can’t be suppressed,” Katherine explained, waiting for a security guard to scan them into the room. He’d paused, to give them time to speak.

“So he’ll be able to get inside my head?”

“Briefly, yes.” Katherine said. “Once Robert takes his protections away, he’ll try and get inside your head. The state officials will do their best to do it as quickly as possible, but you should be prepared.”

Aaron nodded, nervousness bubbling in his stomach. 

“Once this is over Aaron, it’s over.” Katherine gave him a reassuring smile. “There is no way of ever establishing the bond again, so you’ll never have to worry about it.”

“Okay.”

“Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” Aaron said, letting Katherine and Robert step into the room first, his breath hitching in his throat as he saw Gordon for the first time since he was sixteen. He looked the same, looked like the same man who’d ruined his life for years.

He hated him. Aaron wanted to scream, and cry, and punch him, demand to know why he did what he did - 

but he didn’t.

He forced himself to sit down in the chair opposite, Katherine and Robert on either side of him.

“Mr Dingle, I know your solicitor has explained the process, but just to clarify one final time - Mr Sugden will have to remove the protections he’s placed on your mind, so briefly the connection between you and Mr Livesy will be uninterrupted again,” one of the state officials explained. “It will last no more than twenty to thirty seconds, and myself and my colleague will sever the connection completely. We will also place a number of permanent protections on your mind, stopping Mr Livsey from ever attempting to use unlawful magic to re-establish the bond.”

Aaron nodded, grateful for the loving magic he could feel Robert pushing through his body. 

“Once you’re ready to proceed, please let Mr Sugden know, and we’ll get started.”

“You ready?” Robert asked quietly. 

Aaron took a deep breath, relishing in the feeling of Robert’s magic protecting him for a few more seconds before he nodded. “I’m ready,” he said, giving Robert a reassuring look.

His boyfriend was reluctant, but knew he had to do it, and Aaron barely held in a whimper as the protective bonds Robert had placed in his mind left his body, leaving him exposed to the connection he and Gordon had.

Aaron focused on Robert, on Robert’s heightened breathing, on how there was a single strand of his fringe out of place, on how bright and blue his eyes looked under the florescent prison lights.

_“Aaron, don’t ignore me.”_

Aaron looked up, glaring at Gordon, who was sitting with a smirk on his face. 

He wasn’t afraid of him, not anymore.

“You didn’t break me.” Aaron spoke aloud, not caring if anyone else was listening. “You might think you did, but you didn’t. I’m going to be happy for the rest of my life, and it’s because I survived everything you did to me. You’re going to rot in here for the rest of your life, and it’s because you’re a monster. A monster who **didn’t** break me.”

He felt Robert bristle with pride alongside him, and Aaron couldn’t help the satisfied grin on his face as Gordon’s face crumpled.

Aaron could feel the connection between them breaking, and after another few seconds, the state official who’d initially spoken looked at him. “It’s over?”

“It’s over, Mr Dingle,” he confirmed. “I’ll leave the paperwork with your solicitor, and you’re free to go.”

“Thank you.” Aaron scraped back his chair, holding out a hand for Robert, who got up immediately, his eyes wide and his magic bursting with pride, blue tendrils wrapping themselves around Aaron’s arm.

Aaron led Robert out of the room, feeling lighter, and freer than he had done since he was seven years old, before his mum left, before it had all began.

“I’m so proud of you.” Robert declared as they stepped out into the sunshine, pulling Aaron in for a kiss, his magic as excited as he was, wrapping Aaron up in a bright blue hug.

“I love you.” Aaron declared, unable to keep the words in. “I love you, and I know you’re my soulmate, and I’m okay with that. I’m happy about it, actually.”

“I love you too.” Robert replied, his tone full of wonder. “I love you, I love you so much, it’s terrifying.”

“I know,” Aaron agreed, kissing him again. “I don’t care. I love you, thats all that matters, right?”

Robert wrapped him up in a tight hug, pressing sloppy, wet kisses to Aaron’s cheeks, his nose, a delighted smile on his face. “Right. Same star, remember?”

Aaron laughed, thinking of that night on the quarry, that first night they’d realised they were supposed to be together, the first time he’d realised he could love Robert for the rest of his life. 

Knotting his fingers in Robert’s hair, finally feeling like he was going to be _free_ , and _happy_ for the rest of his life, he nodded. “I’ll never forget, I promise."

 

 

 

**fin.**

**Author's Note:**

> i can't thank you enough for the love you gave on the first part of this 'verse! i loved writing it, so i'm glad people loved reading it. there's plenty more to come in this 'verse, so keep an eye out!
> 
> i'm robertsuggles over on tumblr if you fancy a chat.


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